Saturday, July 17, 2004

Time Now Here: 4.25pm

I had the most suckiest day in my school life EVER! Like ARGH! It started with a bad morning... Here goes...

I woke up at 7.05am... Like... I'm supposed 2 reach school BY 7.15... And i usually reach school at 7am! I take around 15minutes to go 2 school... AND I take around 15 minutes to get ready! Like... HELLOOOO?!?! Why the heck did I wake up late? The stupid clock! ARGH!

And because of this, I had 2 lie 2 the teachers my dad's car broke down! I know it was sooo wrong and I was a bad girl... blah blah blah... But I had no choice! You sooo can't balme me... Ok Then i missed the flag raising thingy, which I was quite glad about... And I felt so unwanted... Don't wanna tell you why... Don't feel like saying anyway... Life just SUX ok... I feel so unliked, so 'get outta their way' kinda feeling... A lil left out... Just cant smile when people make you to... Can't feel happy even if i want to... Some people might not feel this way yet but everyone will have a time like this, where you suddenly get moody... ( Girls, dun think 'wai wai'... I'm just moody only and I dun have anything else... )

I've let someone down, but I dunno how many times this person has let me down... To think I try to console her everytime... I feel so so... ARGH... But I dun hate this person... She's still my good friend... And I hope she'll never read this cos she's gonna think I hate her... Actually, I dun hate her, it's just dat I feel unjustified!!! I wanna let it all out by crying and shouting but i cant!!! I hope someone can understand how I feel... But no one knows that I think... Secondary life is so complicated... I dun wish 2 carry on anymore... It has no meaning to me now... I'm just putting on a front to look OK... But inside I just wanna cry it out... I nkow it is pointless saying all this but typing out makes me feel better...

O well, I'll try not 2 be moody anymore! Erm... after school I had Guzheng... And everyone has to play once themselves... I was so nervous I kept playing wrongly... Like ARGH! ( Ok, I like 2 say ARGH 3day... ) Not much HW 2day but gotta study lit... Lit test is next monlday... AHHh!!! I gotta study my 'ting xie' also... Stupid... I hate chinese... O well... Guess dats all...

BuAiZ!!!

~Joleen~

cursed.